Conservatives Against Small Business and Local Government: Mike Huckabee

BETWEEN PILGRIMAGES TO Israel every other week to admire the plucky, feisty, persecuted, bristling-with-nukes little Jewish state (and perhaps, approve the rampant, tacitly approved persecution of his Christian brethren living there, as well as of Muslims and other Palestinians), the hoky Huckster fills his time with things like shilling hard for ChinaMart. And why not? You can’t win the White House in 2012 with Israeli approval alone; you’ll need other sources of support, since it’s gonna take a billion bucks or thereabouts. So it helps this presumptive 2012 Republican candidate to have billionaire friends. Having already served as Arkansas gov, Huckabee of course has already got the Wal-Mart brand (no, I mean literally: like a happy-face logo burnt into his ass) marking him as property of the Official Store of Monopoly and Totalitarianism^TM.

In his debate with New York City’s public advocate Bill DeBlasio — who, with many concerned New Yorkers and organized labor, is fighting to keep Godzilla at bay — Chucklebee is singleminded in his zeal to further the monster of monopoly’s already crushing domination of U.S. retail. The presumed rights of this quintessential government-subsidy– gulping corporate welfare queen to tax others (i.e., externalize its subsidies onto other taxpayers); to bully suppliers, local governments, and workers; to bust unions; to destroy local business and vacuum local wealth off to the pockets of its owners, are sacred tenets of Huckabee’s plutocratic pseudoconservatism, in which monopoly = market freedom and gain = godliness. This is what Christian conservatism has come to: mouthing of a few empty slogans and shibboleths about “capitalism” and “values,” while rooting for Goliath to crush David into the dust.