February 27, 2012 § 3 Comments
Baaa! Good day! How do you do? Welcome to the farm! My name is Shelly. Can you tell what I am?
Tee hee. That’s right! I’m a sheep! Tough question, isn’t it?
Baaa! Do you like this lovely green pasture where I make my home? Do you like my fluffy white wool? Do you like my stubby little tail?
See all the other sheep. We’re a herd. We are prettier than the cows, aren’t we? Cows are disgusting! And don’t even get me started on those goats.
Well, just so you know, I can’t talk for very long. I’ve got to get back to the herd. It’s just instinct, I guess. Baahahaha!
Before I go, I must share the good news! We sheep are allowed to vote now! That’s right. We can even vote for president! Can you believe it? Not only are we allowed to live in Farmer Brown’s beautiful pasture, and give him our wool, and then give him our little lambs too! (I do miss them so.) Now this! What an honor!
For whom shall I vote, you ask? Or rather, for whom shall we vote? Remember, we’re a herd! And little Shelly Sheep here is certainly not the leader of this herd. Do I look like an alpha ewe to you?
We little sheep follow our leaders! It’s easy. Just keep your head down, munch grass, and you know when it’s time to go somewhere — just follow the ass in front of you. That is, the sheep in front of you. You know what I mean!
If you must know, I suppose the leaders of our herd will tell us to vote for the most electable candidate — probably a mainstream centrist, one who won’t rock the boat, one who has the blessings of the party leadership and the Beltway media pundits! Certainly not anybody with extremist notions. And certainly not anybody who our leaders say cannot win. Our leaders wouldn’t lie to us!
Maybe we’ll vote for Farmer Brown? He’s a very nice man to let us live here in his pasture.
Little Shelly doesn’t know much about politics! Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have to think about it. Thinking is hard!
Well, I must go now. It’s dinner time for me and my lambs. Got to get them nice and fat — that’s the way Farmer Brown likes them! Hm, It’s hard deciding what to have for dinner every night, you know! There’s my neighbor, Susie Ewe. Hello, Susie! What are ewe having for dinner?
Grass? Well, that sounds delightful. I think we’ll have some grass too!
Baaaaa! Good day!